Question Its Truth
Over the past couple of years, I have done a lot of work on myself. Or should I say, a lot of work on my mentality. I have never believed so firmly in the power of the mind - our thoughts - and how they work to create our reality. Through books I've read or journal entries I've written, I have had one "aha" moment after the next. And as I string together these realizations, they have helped me expand into more of my authentic self.
The teachings of Byron Katie have particularly been transformational for me. This work has shown me that we have the ability to discover our truth through a simple self-inquiry. Since then, I have applied her teachings to many aspects of my life, both personal and professional, but I have never so much as witnessed its power than I did in a moment soon after my dad passed away. My experience can be summed up in an excerpt from the words I shared at his funeral this past weekend. I wanted to share here in case it brings peace to anyone else.
I will have to admit, this is my first real experience with grief. You hear that grief is a funny thing, and that no one can prepare you for the emotions that you feel after losing a parent. The way it hits you in waves – one moment you’re fine, and then next you find that your face is in your hands and you can’t stop crying. So one morning soon after his death, in a particular wave of this dark emotion, the thought of never seeing him again kept surfacing, and I found myself in tears. And it was this thought of never going to see him again that was amplifying that feeling of void, making it a little bit bigger than it already was. And then all of a sudden I found myself questioning that thought. That is something I have gotten in the habit of doing in the past year or so with any negative or anxious thought that arises. I question its truth. And I found myself asking: do you know that to be true...this thought of never seeing him again. Do you believe that to be 100% true? And my mind got very quiet, I stopped crying, and I felt this peace wash over me. And I knew that the answer was no. I believe I will see him again. I have faith in that much.